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Post by Pammy on Jan 16, 2014 4:55:00 GMT
Mistletoe is becoming more and more attached to me, and less tolerant of anyone else in our family. The past few days he will nip at the fingers of anyone approaching him, other than me. He wants to snuggle into my shoulder & neck during TV time, but doesn't want me to hold Natey at the same time, even on the opposite side of my body. Twice tonight he got out of his comfy spot, walked across my chest, and snapped at Nathan, who was quietly cuddling on me. I want to be very clear that Nathan wasn't reaching or grabbing at Mistletoe in any way. He was holding still and snuggling on his mama. Mistletoe very clearly doesn't want to share me with my human baby. Obviously this isn't okay for me or for Natey. I need some help, and I need it fast. What can I do to let Mistletoe know he CANNOT snap at my 4-year-old, but he can still receive a portion of my love and attention? What immediate behavior or action on my part will help Mistletoe comprehend in the most positive and beneficial way? I don't want to make mistakes that could ruin my bird, and I also don't want Mistletoe to get the idea that he can be nasty to Natey and I'll make Natey get down.
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Post by budgieboy on Jan 16, 2014 6:58:31 GMT
Maybe keeping mistletoe distracted might help
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Post by luvsanimals2 on Jan 16, 2014 14:33:21 GMT
i am not sure on what to do but you could put him back in the cage when he lunges for natey, or kinda put him in a time out right before it happens
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Post by roxhum on Jan 16, 2014 14:50:57 GMT
I just read about this somewhere on the internet. The article I read didn't give any advice on behavior modification but it did suggest all family members should be handling the bird. I think young mistletoe already has it in his head that you are his mate.
I am really sorry you are having this problem, but you will catch it quickly enough. Sadly you may need to limit your snuggle time with mistletoe.
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Post by lisamarie on Jan 16, 2014 14:56:00 GMT
The only thing that comes to my mind is just putting him back in the cage and walking away each time he does it. Don't say anything to him, and don't pet him. Just put him in his cage
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Post by rdkntriker on Jan 16, 2014 15:02:47 GMT
I agree with he putting him in the cage. Then go get him after a few minutes. If he does it again do the same. He will learn biting means cage. Also let the others spend time with him so they become the flock also. A sharp no always works with any animal.
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Post by dianapalmer on Jan 16, 2014 15:31:29 GMT
I am SO sorry, Pammy! This must be really heartbreaking :-(.
I read a suggestion elsewhere to blow on the bird--like the way that they hiss when something displeases them. I'm just throwing it into the mix--I don't know whether it is good or not good.
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Post by dianapalmer on Jan 16, 2014 16:01:54 GMT
Pammy,
You might want to look at this video:
This addresses a problem with a one person bird.
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Post by rdkntriker on Jan 16, 2014 17:44:53 GMT
Pammy I was thinking, when you train a dog that is protective of their food, you hand feed them, ie don't bite the hand that feeds you. Maybe if every one feed him from time to time he will see them all as friends. And when they want to cuddle with you they give him a small treat.
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Post by Pammy on Jan 16, 2014 18:27:49 GMT
Thank you all so much for your concern and your thoughtful suggestions. I contacted Mistletoe's breeder, too, and asked her about all of this. She said a lot of the same things you have said. Mary said that Mistletoe has chosen me as his mate. He has completely fallen in undying love with me, and that part is a good thing. He is "protecting" me from the other members of my family for about 1/2 of the problem, and the other half is plain old jealousy. Mistletoe is jealous of attention I give to anybody other than him. When this happened last night, both times I sharply said NO and put Mistletoe back into his cage for a few minutes. Mary said it was good that I did this, because birds are smart and he should realize that his behavior is limiting his time with me. I sure hope he learns it really fast, because I love him and want him out with me, but it's sure not okay for him to snap at my baby, nor am I going to make Natey leave the room so I can spend time with my bird. Another great suggestion Mary had for me is to discover some treat that Mistletoe REALLY likes, and then to let my family members give him that treat, but I myself should never give him that particular favorite treat. He gets love and affection from me, and he can associate getting that super yummy treat from the other humans. Mistletoe really likes sunflower seeds. I will start with those for my family to give him. I'd like to find something amazingly good, like maybe peanut butter or popcorn, that ONLY Natey will give Mistletoe. Poor Natey! He loves our birds, and is so sad that "Misso-toe doesn't like me anymore."  |
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Post by Sarah on Jan 16, 2014 21:36:39 GMT
You need to make sure that you are not the only keeper of Mistletoe. Ask your kids to take turns feeding him. Make sure he spends less time with you and more time with others, so he doesn't feel the need to isolate himself with you.
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Post by Sarah on Jan 17, 2014 21:23:52 GMT
You know, this happened to me with Pirate for a time. He would be nasty to my boyfriend out of nowhere. I then made the rule that if my boyfriend is here, he is the one who will let Pirate out of the cage. He loves us both now, and he has developed a love of meeting new people as he has grown up.
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Post by Pammy on Jan 18, 2014 0:33:33 GMT
That's wonderful and very encouraging. My cages are open all day, but I will have to brainstorm some similar ideas. Maybe when we all come home from somewhere together, I can let somebody else open the cages.
I'm hoping this next few days while I'm gone at my sister's, that Mistletoe will do some friend making with my family. Of course I don't want it to go so far that he forgets me and falls for somebody else in four short days! Out of sight, out of mind?
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Post by roxhum on Jan 18, 2014 4:09:37 GMT
Mistletoe is not going to forget you that easily. Have fun with your sister.
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Post by Sarah on Jan 18, 2014 7:58:04 GMT
I will warn you, Mistletoe might be standoffish and angry for a few days, like you would be if your husband went away on a weekend trip with no warning, no notice, and without letting you know where he is. You obviously can't explain these things to him, and he is going to be mad that you left him. Don't worry, he will forgive you quickly - I would be shocked if this would last more than two or three days. In the mean time, he will be forming new bonds and exploring new relationships with your family. Don't worry: I think this is really going to be good for you, Natey and for Mistletoe also.
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