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Post by Pammy on Apr 30, 2014 4:30:38 GMT
I have some unpleasant news to share, but am fearing judgment.
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Post by kmic on Apr 30, 2014 8:27:26 GMT
If you'd like to share, do so. I'm sure there's a reason for whatever it is. You always take extremely good care of your little ones, can't see why we'd judge any decision/news..
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Post by Budgiebonkers on Apr 30, 2014 14:01:36 GMT
You got a new bird? ??
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Post by lisamarie on Apr 30, 2014 16:07:05 GMT
I think we have all learned on here that we all do things that maybe everyone does not agree on, but we share anyway. I'm still hiding around the back of the forum but my semester is finally coming to an end.. You won't receive ANY judgement from me! I have no room to judge others because I'm too far from perfect
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Post by dcalton75 on Apr 30, 2014 16:24:52 GMT
Extremely curious now. No judgement from me either.
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Post by Pammy on Apr 30, 2014 19:49:48 GMT
Well, here goes....
I found a new home for Mistletoe. It was horribly hard, but something I needed to do. I found a wonderful family of husband, wife and two teenage boys who are crazy bird people. Birds are what they do. They are in love with their new little guy, and I'm so happy he will be properly cared for and adored for everything he is in his new home in Dallas. I just couldn't be the hands-on-every-minute mother Mistletoe needed me to be. It broke my heart, but my heart is beginning to heal now that Mistletoe has been in his new home for 5 days and I know how cherished he is becoming there with those good people.
My budgies are doing well. They let us hold them a little and are wonderful to watch, but do not scream for me every second of everyday.
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Post by dianapalmer on Apr 30, 2014 21:04:32 GMT
Good for you for finding such a good home for Mistletoe. As much as we may wish it, not every bird parront relationship will work out.
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Post by rdkntriker on Apr 30, 2014 21:23:24 GMT
Pammy as hard as that was to do, I applaud you and your courage to do it.
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Post by kmic on Apr 30, 2014 21:29:39 GMT
I'm with Santa on this! I really admire you for taking such a decision. I know you love Mistletoe with all your heart, but it's what was best for him. We're here for you Pammy. I'm sure it's hard even though he's in a wonderful home.
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Post by Pammy on Apr 30, 2014 22:01:10 GMT
You guys are wonderful. I have tears in my eyes reading your responses. I do love Mistletoe. It was very, very hard to hand him over and walk away, but it just wasn't a good match. I believe that Mistletoe is in the right home for him. I pray that he will adjust quickly and be so very happy, for always. The pictures I've been sent are encouraging.
Thank you for being such good people and wonderful friends.
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Post by luvsanimals2 on Apr 30, 2014 22:17:56 GMT
oh no. im glad you found him a home!
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Post by lisamarie on May 1, 2014 2:53:29 GMT
That's very unfortunate :/ pre-mistletoe I thought you would absolutely adore him and love his attachment to you. However as you've had him longer, other things you have said led me to believe it was more than you had anticipated. It's not ideal to raise children and take after a house, husband, fish and other budgies with a cockatiel on your shoulder. I wish you could have kept him but i was in your position with poor Leo Lucy did not like him and it was cruel for both of them. It was irresponsible on my part to buy him knowing I could not buy another cage. Maybe on your part reflecting we can say cockatiels aren't for people with a busy household? I'm not at all criticizing you Pammy, I'm just trying to turn a negative into a positive by asking "what can we learn" I don't want people from the internet who read in to think they can/should buy a bird and just hope it works out. We all need to think what we can do in worse case scenarios! And Pammy you made the best of it because you found him a wonderful home. I found Leo a great home also. However, what happens when one can't be as lucky to find their feather baby a back up home? (I came very close to not finding Leo a home). I don't want to think of it. Pammy no one will judge you for any decisions you make. You're a wonderful mommy for both birds and babies alike from what you have shared!
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Post by luvsanimals2 on May 1, 2014 3:16:51 GMT
Yes, I am curious on what had happened, was he too needy?
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Post by Pammy on May 1, 2014 3:50:32 GMT
In a word, yes. Sweet Mistletoe loved me very much, and wanted me to hold him all of the waking hours of the day. I could literally hold him for two solid hours, put him back at the cage so I could get something else done, and within (no joke) five minutes, he would be whistling and calling for me to come get him. If I didn't, he would simply jump off the cage and come find me. It was very, very sweet, but also impossible to deal with everyday of my life. I feel horrible that it didn't work out for Mistletoe and me, but it didn't. I know there may be some who would say I should have dealt with it for the next 20 years, because I made a commitment to an innocent animal, but I couldn't. I do feel very, very bad that this poor little bird has to endure the heartbreak of the mourning process for his person. Still, I could not devote the next two decades to a bird while pushing my human family aside in favor of him. I cannot count the times my little boy asked me to cuddle, and I said, "Not right now, Baby. I'm holding Mistletoe." I truly hope that some of you (mothers and others) can understand why that wasn't okay.
I made it very clear to his new adoptive family what the issues were. It is important to me that they knew upfront exactly what kind of attention Mistletoe demands. They had recently lost their former "on the shoulder constantly" little companion, and the dad in the home is ready for a new permanently attached little guy to ride around on him all of the time.
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Post by dianapalmer on May 1, 2014 13:57:06 GMT
I'm not sure that we can conclude anything universal from this. Neither of my cockatiels is demanding. We are all different, and animals are different in their individual temperaments.
At first I was sad that Emma wasn't a cuddly bird. Silver is friendly and glad to be with me, but not demanding. I feel lucky that my cockatiels are working out for me (with the reservation about getting Emma into the cage, but I hope I will solve that soon).
My birds tend to chew on things they shouldn't. I have had to cover the tops of my windows, my lampshades, and my picture frame with plastic. I didn't anticipate having to do this when I got the birds.
The cleaning is more than I anticipated. I am dealing with it okay, but I wonder what it will be like as I get even older.
I also worry that, if something happens to me, my daughter will have to find new homes for my birds.
It is so encouraging that Pammy was able to find a good home for Mistletoe.
I dont think it would be fair to conclude from all of this that I should not have birds or should not have gotten birds. Life is limited and I feel we have the right to do the things we feel will produce happiness. If it doesn't work out, we need to handle that responsibly, as Pammy did. I think she is an example to us all. A less responsible and loving person might have confined the bird to a cage in an area far from the general living area, where he would have been miserable.
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